As it turns out, This Dater went from dating to a
full-blown relationship pretty quickly.
This Guy and I ended up spending more and more time together, had the
“are we exclusive??” talk, left a toothbrush at each other’s apartment, and
even spent a weekend away together.
There were so many wonderful things about This Guy and I learned a lot
about what a relationship can be like.
In the end, This Guy felt better as a friend than a boyfriend, so that
was that.
A few lessons learned:
Nice guys do exist.
Nice guys give compliments genuinely, not just because they want to get
into your pants. And the best kind of
compliments are about who you are as a person, rather than what you look like
or what you are wearing.
Being honest with your feelings is pretty cool. There were several times with This Guy where
something didn’t sit right with me and I said it out loud to him, instead of
holding onto it or complaining about it to one of my friends (truth, so there was
still some complaining to the friends - progress, not perfection!).
Expressing your feelings doesn’t mean you always get what
you want. Sometimes it went like this -
- Me: “Hey This Guy, it bugs me when you do blah.” This Guy: “Oh ok, I’m sorry that bugs you,
but I’m probably going to keep doing blah.”
Relationships are about deciding what blahs you can live with, and what
blahs are deal-breakers.
Breaking up with someone is hard. Deciding to end things with This Guy was
difficult, and actually ending things took longer than it probably should
have. He was my first taste of really
nice and really into me, and part of saying goodbye was dealing with the fear
of “what if I never find someone like This Guy again.”
The only person who can validate you is you. Within five seconds of ending things with
This Guy I had called, emailed, or texted three people for support. “Tell me I’m not a bad person.” “Tell me I
did the right thing.” “Tell me I won’t be single forever.” Even though my support people said the right
supportive things, I had to come to grips with the fact that I did what was best for me, and
there ain’t no shame in that game.
So what’s next for This Dater? More dating!
I learned so much during my mini-relationship with This Guy, not just
about what I want and don’t want in a future partner, but also about areas I
still need to work on. I’m excited to
get back out there again and continue learning and living This Dater's Life.
No comments:
Post a Comment